How “Sacred Gifts” came to be

Sacred Gifts

When I was 30 years old and expecting my 4th child, I started to get worried.  I knew that God wanted me to have this little boy I was carrying.  I had known about him for about 7 years before.  I also knew that postpartum depression was a problem for me.  A huge problem.  I did not feel up to the challenge, but I wanted to trust and be obedient, and God came through for me.

Early in the pregnancy, I had an amazing experience.  The depression, anxiety, and fear was already setting in and I remember sitting up in my bed pondering and for just a split second, I felt what it felt like to have all of my burdens lifted off of me.  It was complete emotional freedom.  My burdens came back as quickly as they left but in that moment I had the understanding that it was possible to experience this freedom, that God wanted me to experience it, and that it was coming soon.  A few weeks later, I ran into a friend several times in a week, she introduced me to emotional healing or energy work and the rest is history.  I experienced NO postpartum depression, which was a HUGE miracle and gift and over time I have been able to experience the emotional freedom that I tasted that day.

As I progressed in my healing journey, I was experiencing such dramatic shifts that I felt called to help other people the same way I had been helped.  At first, it started out as mentoring sessions, but then a few years ago, I started waking up at 3 and 4 AM knowing that I needed to write some information down.  This happened several times over a few month period until I had received a complete mentoring system which I call The 5 Systems Approach to Personal Freedom.  It is based on 5 systems that are part of our experience.  They are heart, mind, soul, might, and strength.  I started teaching these classes and quickly learned that everyone has their own beautiful gifts and mentoring style.  The course shifted to be called Sacred Gifts.  The complete mentoring system is still taught in the course, but students are taught and encouraged to recognize and also use their own unique healing gifts to help others find personal freedom.

I’m so grateful for the tools and understandings that have changed my life, and I’m excited to announce that starting in January 2017, the Sacred Gifts course will now be offered online as a 15 week course, instead of a live course.  This will allow the information to be shared to anyone, no matter where they live!  Does this sound like something for you?  If the answer is yes, email me at waldomarm@gmail.com AND we will see if this program is a good fit for you where you are in your life.  I’m excited to share my gifts with you and help you discover more of yours!    Absolutely NO obligation.

5 Lessons in Humility

This is one of my favorite videos.

 

Over the years, I have had many opportunities to be brought down to the depths of humility.  I’m so grateful for the lessons that have come as a result of much painful trimming of my lofty heights.

1st experience:

When I was about 15 years old, I had the opportunity to go to a training that I was sure was going to give me all the answers and much happiness.  Instead, I was humbled very quickly.  In the training, one of the processes we went through was to perform something in front of the group.  There were probably 80-100 participants, and I was super excited to show my stuff.  For many people, this was a HUGE stretch, but not for me.  I couldn’t wait for my turn!  When my turn finally came, I walked out in front of all those people and started singing.  I was super confident.  However, shortly after I started, the facilitator stopped me.  He asked if I had felt myself shift from confidence to ego.  In front of all those people!  I was horrified!!!  I simply answered yes, but inside I really wasn’t sure what he was talking about.

2nd experience:

Before I got married, I had a fairy tale picture in mind.  I knew exactly what I wanted and I knew I was going to have that perfect picture.  After getting married, I quickly was handed a huge piece of humble pie.  Married life was hard!  The perfect picture was shattered by the realization that it wasn’t that easy.  However, between years one and two of marriage, I had a very telling experience.  I was at a church meeting with my husband and new little baby and I was feeling so good.  In that moment I felt that we had attained this perfect picture family and I was gloating about it in my mind.  All at once, I felt the spirit withdraw and I came to understand in that moment that I had many things still to learn.

Experience 3:

Early in our marriage, my husband was a concrete contractor.  After a few years in business, there was a huge concrete shortage and he went from pouring twice a day to twice a week, if he was lucky.  His business was no longer sustainable and we lost everything.  Our home, our cars, our worldly possessions and we got to move to my sister’s basement with our 3 kids.  Instead of being grateful that we were taken care of, I was angry.  I started nit picking my husband in my mind.  We had nothing and it was his fault.  I couldn’t purchase anything I thought I needed and wanted and the more I watched him, the angrier I became.  I became depressed. I was homeschooling my kids at the time and I stopped doing anything.  One day, I finally decided to humble myself.  As I was praying, I received the message very strongly that it was time to stop worrying about what my husband was doing and start focusing on me and what I was doing.  I needed to repent and work on me.  I was the problem!

Experience 4:

Just as I pictured a perfect marriage, I also assumed I would be the perfect mother.  Oh boy, have I been humbled time and time again.  In the beginning of motherhood, I subconsciously thought the only way to have perfect children would be to control them and I did try.  However, I have learned more and more to train, teach and let go and allow them to practice over and over.  Most of all to give them to God and just love them.  They are His children and He loves them even more than I do.

Experience 5:

For the last several years, I have really been focusing on healing.  I have overcome some major things through learning to acknowledge thoughts, beliefs, and emotions and replace them with truth and love.  There have been many times through this healing journey where I have assumed I made it!  I am done healing!  Only to discover shortly that I still have a long way to go and much to learn.  I feel like God is teaching me patience and how to love myself in the journey.  We are here to learn to govern ourselves and it is a process.  I love my process, and I’m so grateful that I get to learn the lessons I’m learning and be on this journey with so many amazing souls like all of you!  I am grateful for the atonement and for the awareness of how it works for me in my life.  I know that ALL healing is through Christ.

I have realized through each of these experiences that I was feeling shame and humiliation about myself which kept myself from learning.  When I finally stepped into humility, I was able to let go of humiliation and allow the lessons to emerge.  Are you learning lessons through your experiences?  Are you allowing humility instead of humiliation?  As I share these experiences I am realizing that I am releasing more layers of shame by simply sharing and owning these things.  I am still lovable even though I experienced these things.  I am forgivable!

 

 

 

How to Discover the Lies Your Body is Carrying.

I recently discovered an exercise that has had great benefits for me. It has helped me to embrace and love my body and who I am to a greater extent. Here is the process:

First, I get really comfortable. This may be sitting in a big cozy chair, laying down flat or whatever is most comfortable.

Then I close my eyes.

I start with my feet and allow myself to be aware of them, feel them, and focus on them.

As I am focusing, I actually have a conversation in my mind with my feet. I thank them for serving my body so well, and tell them how much I love them.

When I am finished, I move up the line to my ankles, legs, knees, etc. until I have had a conversation with each part of my body. I can include as many body parts as I want. It is sometimes great to even include internal body parts, if I feel so directed.

Sometimes, I get to a body part, start to express gratitude and love, and then feel like I am expressing something that is not true. When that happens I look inward. What am I feeling toward this body part? Why am I feeling that way or what happened to cause me to experience that emotion? I really dig deep to unearth everything. Then I frame statements to change the emotion, experience, or belief. For example: When I went through this exercise, everything was going well until I got to my thighs. I could not bring myself to express gratitude or love for them. I focused inward and I pictured myself around 5th or 6th grade sitting in an assembly at school, looking down, and seeing my thighs pressed against the chair and judging them as fat. I even remember looking at the person next to me and comparing my shorter, stockier thighs to their longer, thinner ones. Remembering this experience helped me to reframe my feelings with the following statements: “My thighs are perfect for my body. I love my thighs. My thighs serve my body.” Then I took a deep breath in and imagined these statements taking the place of that negative experience. As I breathed out, I imagined the negative experience and all attached emotions leaving me. I was then able to continue with the exercise.

This exercise can be repeated again and again and each time I may find something new that my body wants to get rid of.

Are there any exercises you have done that have helped you to love yourself more? I would love to hear what has worked for you.

I Finally Love my Body! YAY!

A little over a year ago I was introduced to something called the I Love My Body Diet.  It helped me SO much that I spent the majority of last year helping with the programs and bringing it to women.  It is truly a movement I believe in.  Here’s why:

  • The core values of the program are faith, authenticity and community.  The program really helped me to connect with myself and God, be authentically me and be involved in a community of women with similar values.
  • It helped me to truly love my body.  I carry some extra weight.  I have for a long time and it’s something I have held my body hostage for.  I tried to guilt and shame my body into losing weight a few times, but I hated myself more as a result.  I truly learned at a new level that my body is a gift to be loved, valued, and respected.  I can be healthy and I can release extra weight if and when I choose to, but it will be because I love myself and not to fit what I think I “should” be.  These photos were taken last spring in California and I share them now because I truly can look at these pictures in total love right now.  Before that, I would never have even allowed such photos to be taken.  I’m so grateful for this place I’m in now.da20bc45-59c1-4a95-8e79-026a51783b42def0b6b1-b671-4067-bfba-c08f01738ace
  • The way I see food has completely shifted for me.  I listen to my body now and eat intuitively.  I bless and infuse values into my food which is changing me from the inside out.  I also exercise daily.  That has NEVER been a consistent thing for me.  I do it because I love my body and I want to take care of and bless it for serving me so well.  I also recognize when I’m pushing my body too hard, or I need a rest from it.
  • I feel connected to my body.  I love it and it loves and supports me.  When there are issues within, I listen and make corrections.
  • I am comfortable in front of the camera.  This was HUGE for me.  I am comfortable in pictures, videos, at the grocery store.  You name it.  I feel like I finally gave myself permission to just be me.
  • I live in value.  I choose what I want to feel instead of allowing my emotions to control me.  Mostly.  I am intentional everyday.
  • I stopped thinking about me.  This is HUGE as well.  I noticed that now that I am comfortable in my body, I don’t stress about what I look like, who’s watching, or how ridiculous I am.  It’s not in my thoughts anymore.  I remember a time when these thoughts consumed me.  I am free to show up in love for others and myself.  It’s all about love baby.
  • My judgements are melting away.  I realized that when I was in judgement of others most of the time it was because I was constantly judging myself.
  • I finally LOVE meeting new people!!!  This was a really hard thing for me for so long. When I first started focusing on my mission of helping women, it required me to meet lots of new people.  It was really scary for me and way out of my comfort zone.  For 2 years, my face and body was covered in a horrible rash.  I now know it was stressed induced from choosing to step out of my comfort zone daily.  Meeting new people is no longer a stress for me.  It is a joy!  Huge victory.  This picture shows me with some of the rash.                                             d6036912-368b-46a8-b585-30af6c30b130

These and many more things have been such a blessing for me.  They were things I didn’t even realize I lacked.  I have been working on healing for a while and I honestly didn’t know I still had issues in all these areas.  This program brought it all to a deeper level for me and I will be forever grateful.  I am so grateful for women and men that are stepping into their personal missions so that I can be the recipient of the gifts they have to offer humanity.  AND I am grateful for ME!

Charity: The Pure Love of Christ

I have been thinking a lot about charity, the pure love of Christ and wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes, scriptures, and poems.  I am saturating this post with all things love and purity.  Enjoy!

 

 

“Inner peace and love are the greatest of God’s gifts. ”

-Teton Sioux Proverb

 

 

“If God is love,

The source,

The spring,

Should not the lover

Pilgrimage there-

Reverently

Seeking supply?

 

That the cup he gives

Will not be dry?”

-Carol Lynn Pearson

 

‘Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

-1 Corinthians 13

From the Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary:

charity

CHARITY, n.

1. In a general sense, love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good. In a theological sense, it includes supreme love to God, and universal good will to men.1 Cor. 8. Col. 3. 1 Tim 1.

2. In a more particular sense, love, kindness, affection, tenderness, springing from natural relations; as the charities of father, son and brother.

3. Liberality to the poor, consisting in almsgiving or benefactions, or in gratuitous services to relieve them in distress.

4. Alms; whatever is bestowed gratuitously on the poor for their relief.

5. Liberality in gifts and services to promote public objects of utility, as to found and support bible societies, missionary societies, and others.

6. Candor; liberality in judging of men and their actions; a disposition which inclines men to think and judge favorably, and to put the best construction on words and actions which the case will admit. The highest exercise of charity, is charity towards the uncharitable.

7. Any act of kindness, or benevolence; as the charities of life.

8. A charitable institution. Charity-school, is a school maintained by voluntary contributions for educating poor children.

What are some of your favorites?

Let’s Talk about Sex

I have known for awhile that I was going to do a post about sex, and in all honesty it has been difficult for me to go there. Partly because I am going to share experiences that are raw and vulnerable for me, but mostly because I love the sacred nature of intimacy so much that I desire this post to be pure and unexploitable. I pray that my words are filled with truth and healing.

I grew up in a home where sexual intimacy was both celebrated and conflicting. My parents had 11 children, and I always felt secure in their love for each other. We had a strong spiritual and religious foundation of the sanctity of sex within marriage that could be felt but wasn’t discussed. I just knew with my whole being that my parents were true to each other and to their family. While my parents held that beautiful space for me and I learned about it in church, there was major conflict inside of me about sex. There were undercurrents of sexual exploitation in my family and all around me. I experienced sexual molestation as a child and through my teen years, and I couldn’t seem to get away from the shame and secrecy of it. It all came to a head for me when I met and married my amazing husband. We were both entrenched in the shame of sex and brought that shame into our marriage and our sexuality.

When I think of all of the years with my husband, (20 in October) my heart leaps for joy at what we have overcome together and are still overcoming. We truly had so much stacked against us, and yet we continue to come back to each other and choose our budding relationship. It has not been easy and I have felt that in talking about it, someone else can be helped. Is that you?

In the beginning I can honestly say that sex became a dreadful thing to me. I felt it was my duty to fulfill my husband even though I was completely empty. Sex was a physical thing, no more. At times, I could feel a deeper connection, but because of my past I had numbed myself to love, believing it didn’t exist for me. I hated sex and wanted nothing to do with it but I would force myself to engage out of fear of losing my husband and a belief that I wasn’t lovable and I shouldn’t punish my husband. At times, I did use my sexuality as a punishment, withholding because it gave me a reason to escape. Many times, I cried through it and afterwards sobbed from the depths of my soul. This perpetuated the shame cycle for my dear husband, who deep down wanted nothing more than to share his love with me. It really was a hot mess for a long, long time.

I realize now that one thing that kept me holding on was the beautiful but imperfect example from my amazing parents. I knew there was something better. I knew sex and love could be beautiful, but I had no idea how to get there. The seed was buried deep for me, covered up by lies, doubt and fear.

I now feel that we have touched the beauty of intimacy. We are scratching the surface, but I have had many glimpses and experiences of the sacredness that my husband and I hold in this beautiful God-given act. Sexual intimacy is truly meant to join two people; heart, mind, and soul. It is when we take it internally and truly connect at a spiritual, not just physical level that nourishment is attained for both partners. So how do we do that? Looking back, I am noticing the pattern of healing that is occuring.  Here are 5 steps in the pattern and some possible action steps, depending on where you are in your healing.

I. Tune into the true source of love.  It is not my husband’s job to fill me.  I am meant to have a personal relationship with my Creator.  When my husband and I are both filled from the true source, our intimacy becomes a partnership of creation with our Creator.  We are both coming from a place of being filled and that love naturally pours out to each other.

POSSIBLE ACTION STEP:  Ask God to show you who you are and how he sees you.  Ask him to help you feel His love for you.

II.  Weed out the lies and shame.  There is much of sexual exploitation all around.  It becomes confusing for all of us.  The truth is, sex is beautiful, fulfilling, and God-given.  It is a way to connect and celebrate each other and our love.  It is creation in it’s raw form.  It is meant to encompass all layers of our being.  Spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental.

POSSIBLE ACTION STEP:  Read this book to assist you in discovering the lies that are hanging out in your bedroom.

III. Declare what you desire in your relationship and sexual intimacy.  It is difficult to tune in to what we truly desire when we are full of limiting beliefs and lies.  Once we begin the weeding out process, we create space to really see the truth. When we begin to see the truth, we can then create it! There is much power in the written and spoken word.  It is truly the seed of creation.

POSSIBLE ACTION STEP:  Create your ideal relationship and intimacy.  Write it all down.  Include all the senses.  What does it look like?  What are you experiencing?  How do you feel?  Write in detail and visualize it on a regular basis.  Speak it out loud.  Hold space for the creation of it.  Believe it is on it’s way.

IV.  Set an intention.  What intention do you want to create with your intimacy?  Is it connection, trust, love?  Or something else?  Identifying values we are desiring to live in helps us to really stay present and create what we desire.

POSSIBLE ACTION STEP:  Set 1-3 intentions before lovemaking.  Pray for those intentions to be present with you.  Even better, connect to your partner’s values as well and set those intentions too.  This can result in a soul filling experience connecting all aspects of you.

V.  Receive in gratitude.  Remember this step.  It’s super important.  Part of receiving is letting go.  We have done the work, now it’s time to simply let go and receive.  Gratitude is regeneration.  It completes the cycle and begins it anew.  It also keeps us in a higher vibration of thought that continues with us long after the experience is over.

POSSIBLE ACTION STEP:  Visualize yourself letting go, trusting, and receiving.  Express gratitude daily for the reception of all good things into your life.

Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart with you.  I truly hope it blesses your life and your sexuality.  Sending love and blessings.

 

P.S.  This formula works for so many aspects of life.

Self Love vs. Self Care

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I’m not saying through the title that we have to choose either self love or self care. I am submitting the idea that self love encompasses self care, but is also SO much more. These are merely examples for me. The first example in each line is going through the motions of self care. The second is REALLY loving me AND doing self care. It’s seeing the bigger picture. The purpose for the care.

Self care is brushing my teeth. Self love is brushing my teeth while in gratitude and love for those teeth that serve my body.

Self care is exercising daily to form a healthy body routine. Self love is choosing exercises that I enjoy and that feed my body and spirit and energize me to do God’s will.

Self care is eating kale and spinach. Self love is eating all of my food with an intention and blessing it and being in gratitude and love for it.

Self care is taking a shower. Self love is being in love and gratitude for each part of my body that serves me so well as I lovingly wash and care for it.

I don’t always practice self love, but I’m getting better and better. What are some ways that you can truly love you more instead of just going through the motions?

A Short Parable

A few years ago, I was into running.  Nothing major.  I just ran a few 5k’s and trained a bit just for fun and to show myself I could do it.  But ever since my last baby was born, I haven’t had the desire to run.  Until now.

This week, something sparked in me and I decided to run again.  So far I have run 2 days and I am loving it and learning some lessons that I thought you might want to hear.

The first day, I planned to run a mile and a half.  I thought it would be easy since I used to run 3-5 miles regularly.  But that was more than 4 years ago.  Long story short is I thought I was going to die at the halfway point, and I knew I couldn’t make it a mile and a half.  It had been too long and I have gotten physically out of shape.  So I readjusted my commitment to myself.  I picked a point about halfway between where I was at and where I wanted to be and ran to that point.  Then today I did it again.  It was really hard for me, but I am pleased that I did it.  So what are the lessons that came to me?

1.  It is ok to adjust your commitments when needed.  If you overshot your goal a little, readjust.   I know that I will eventually get to that mile and a half mark and beyond.  I just wasn’t ready for it today.  I still pushed myself out of my comfort zone.  I wanted to quit at the halfway mark, but I ran further than I thought I could and made it to my readjusted goal.

2.  I can forgive myself for falling short.  It really hit me strong today how much God loves me when I miss the mark.  His patience and love for me are unending.  I can be patient with myself.  I could have forced myself to go the full mile and a half, but probably would have burned out and that would have been the end of my running stint.  However, by forgiving myself for not being where I wanted to be, I was able to make progress toward my goal and had the courage to get out there and do it again.

Are there things in your life that need some readjusting?  Are there areas where you could show yourself a little more love and compassion?

You are worth it and God loves you where you are now.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work and What to do Instead.

Are you the kind of person that makes New Year’s Resolutions for yourself and then by February you have already given up?   I use to do that!  In fact, I use to make several resolutions and would end up feeling horrible about myself because I couldn’t keep my word to myself.  It was a never ending cycle of self-sabotage.   Sometimes, I would even accomplish a short term goal, but upon completion I would not want to do the same goal again, because of the self torture I endured to reach said goal.  The result would be that I accomplished the goal, but did not accomplish making it into a life long habit.  Since then I have discovered 3 keys to achieving success with my goals and resolutions.

Key #1:     Make resolutions based on personal desires instead of shoulds.

How do you feel when someone forces you to do something?  I know for me that whenever someone forces, manipulates, or tries to guilt me into doing something, I want to do the opposite of what they want me to do.  In effect, this is exactly what we are doing when we make resolutions based on what we should be doing, instead of what we actually want to do.  Whenever our reason for doing something is external, we have to use guilt and force aka will power to make it happen.  We can only take that so long before our body rebels and we can’t push ourselves any longer.  The secret is to find the internal desire that will help us carry on, even when it gets difficult or monotonous.  If we do not have the internal desire we must discover it first.  I never make a goal about anything until I am clear about the internal reasons for doing so, and can feel the passion and desire burning within me.  And when that flame of desire is burning, there is no reason to wait for the New Year to make a resolution.  I can do it NOW!

Key #2:     Have a vision for where it is you are wanting to go.

Let’s look at the root word of resolution.  It is resolve.  When you make a resolution you are making a resolve to change something in your life that is no longer working for you.  In order to change what is no longer working, you must be able to see what you want to create instead.  This is the principle that Stephen Covey teaches so well.  It’s what he calls seeing the end from the beginning.  When you are visualizing what you want to create, it is more powerful to involve all the senses.  What does it feel like to accomplish this desire?  How does it look, taste, smell, effect myself, my family, the world?  Include everything you can.  And then write it down.  Hang a picture of it around your house.  Remind yourself about it often.  I even like to record my voice and listen to my visualization.  I also keep myself open to the possibility that there is something even better than what I can see.  When you keep this vision in front of you all the time, you can’t help but succeed.

Key #3:     Take inspired Action.

Now that you have the desire and have resolved to create a new pattern in your life, let it go.  By letting it go, I do not mean to stop thinking about it.  I simply mean do not force the change.  It will come in it’s time.  Chances are, you will need to go through a process of letting everything go that is creating resistance to this change.  This will take time.  You have planted a seed and need to nourish it in order for it to grow.  Whenever a thought, belief, or emotion comes up that is holding you back from the goal, let it go and remind yourself of what you know is coming.  This is called faith.  Do take inspired action.  If you have a positive thought to do something, do it.

Love and internal desire are the only true and long term motivations to achieve anything.  Love yourself enough to create lasting change and results in your life.  If you don’t do it, who will?